The New Machine

Well, I have finally completely lost my mind. I registered to run the Marine Corps Marathon on October 25th, 2009.

For years I have been talking about "taking the plunge" and "challenging" myself to see if I could run a marathon, but something always came up.....well, it was usually because I was pregnant, but that is beside the point.

So.....I went online the other day and decided to pay my $88 to register, knowing that just by registering I would follow through with it and make myself start training for it. So now I guess you could say I am a new kind of machine-I will be a running machine for the next 6 months so that I can fully prepare myself to run 26.2 miles so that I can buy a sticker that says 26.2 and put it on the back of my car.

My trainer, who has run at least 3 marathons, assures me that I will do great and that I am fit enough to go the distance-literally, and that 6 months is way more training time than needed. She wrote me a running program that is only 18 weeks long, but VERY challenging and she said that it would more than prepare me. I believe her and trust what she tells me, but I still have my concerns......the main one being how does the whole bathroom thing work during the race?.....and what about after for that matter? I have heard some REALLY scary stories about friends who spent the first post-marathon hour in the port-o-potty having a marathon of a different sort that involves doing what my friends and I call multi-tasking (pooping out one end and puking out the other). Sorry for the visual, but this is a serious issue if I will be running for 4-5 straight hours.

Also, how does the whole eating thing work? How do you stop running and eat? Or more importantly how do you eat anything while running without getting a cramp or puking your brains out?

What about the whole mental anguish aspect of running a marathon? I have talked to several people that say it is mentally draining and that you can't mind fuck yourself or else you will psyche yourself out. I know that I overthink everything and mind fucking myself is definitely part of my daily routine (Oh, my kid watched too much TV today, I am a bad mother, the kids were misbehaving and driving me bonkers all day, I am a bad mommie etc.) but I figure that 6 months of preparation will be enough to get my brain in shape....right?

These little kinks will hopefully be ironed out in the next 6 months of my training as I prepare myself for my greatest challenge yet. I keep telling myself that if I could endure 20 hours of back labor with no epidural and an emergency C-section to bring my first child into the world, then I can run for 1/4 of that amount of time.

I will keep you posted on my progress. For right now, my goals are simple for my first marathon. They are as follows: 1) Don't poop myself 2) Finish the whole distance 3) Be mentally sound the whole time to help push myself across the finish line 4) Buy a cool sticker for my car........oh yeah, and DON"T GET PREGNANT until the marathon is complete.

TGIF

The other day my husband's assistant had a choking incident and it reminded me of this helpful hint that I thought I would pass along to all of you, since you never know when you or one of your kids might choke.

My husband's assistant was sitting at her desk on Monday, checking some emails and munching on a cracker when a piece of it got lodged in her throat. She cleared her throat multiple times but could not get the cracker to budge. At this point she was frantic as she felt the cracker scratching at her throat and constricting her airway, so she got up from her desk and wandered down the hall to seek help, which she was lucky enough to find.

I am a firm believer in ALL parents being First Aid and CPR certified before the arrival of their first child. I just think it is a good skill to have and one that will definitely make you more confident as a first time parent. I am trained in both and I have had to use those skills on my son before when he was choking and turning blue. That being said, I realize that we live in a world defined by our time constraints and taking a class may not be in the cards for you. If that is the case, do not despair, just keep this trick in mind.

If you, or your child are choking DO NOT hit the choking victim on the back. This is the first reaction that most people have and the WORST thing to do because you can actually force the choking hazard further down into the victim's throat, causing more airway constriction.

The best thing to do is put the victim's arms up in the air and take a deep breath. This will open the airway and the lungs easily and force the choking hazard to go all the way down the pipe instead of letting it hang out in the middle.

So, the next time your child is choking on a cracker or a piece of hot dog, just simply lift both of their arms towards the sky to help things along and if that fails, administer the Heimlich maneuver or call 911.