Don't Try This At Home

I should have known that it was Friday the 13th. I had a one day meeting assignment in Rockville so I lined up the babysitter for the day and got my house in order the day before, which usually entails laying out the kids' clothes, making sure that the fridge is stocked and that there are notes etc. out that give everyone their marching orders. Oh yes, and let's not forget that my going to work at this meeting involves me PUMPING since my daughter is only 10 weeks old and my boobs are still on the creamery schedule.

I got up at 5am and got ready for work which began bright and early at 7:30am-I was not too peeved about getting up so early because I was told this was a short assignment and that I would be done and on my way home by 2pm. I packed my portable pump and all its parts even though I was convinced I would be able to make it until I got home.

I should have known things were not going smoothly when it took everyone over an hour to organize before the meeting even began-not to mention the fact that the lady leading the meeting was in from the left coast where she had been fighting some nasty virus so she was all jacked up on cold meds and jet-lagged, which made her noticeably absent-minded, forgetful and a constant source of snot and germs.

As we got underway things began rolling and we accomplished a lot prior to lunch. With only one more chunk of material to review before calling it quits, I was hopeful that I would still be heading home by 2pm. As we got to the budget piece we hit a major snag-no one could agree on anything and the discussion flood gates were opened. I felt my neck tense up as my breasts began to harden. All I could think was "thank goodness I wore a dark suit with a dark shirt."

I quietly observed and tried to take my mind off of the searing pain in my boobs. Boobs that had become so engorged my nipples were at 90 degree angles. What could I do, turn to the chairwoman and ask her if I could please be excused to go to my car and pump?

Now at this point you are probably feeling a little bit of sympathy for me and my poor boobs-remembering a time when you used to breastfeed and you were in my situation-or maybe you are asking yourself, why is Daphne an idiot-why didn't she go out to her car and pump during lunch? Well, I thought about that, but because we were doing SO well time-wise before lunch, everyone agreed to take a 30 minute lunch in the cafeteria right across from our meeting room. To make matters worse, the building that we were meeting in was a government facility and "unimportant people like me without badges of their own had to have an escort through the insanely HUGE building just to get from the security front desk to the conference room," so I would have had to ask security to take me to my car and wait for me while I pumped.

Needless to say, going out to my car and pumping was not exactly an option and to be honest at lunchtime I didn't need to pump yet, and I didn't know the afternoon was going to head south so quickly.

The minutes dragged on and before long we had spent over two hours beating the crap out of some budget issues. The back and forth arguing was making my head spin and throb, which was a good thing because it took the focus away from my boob pain and the fact that my breasts had started to leak milk-yes, breast milk all over my nice cashmere sweater.

The day that was supposed to end at 2pm wrapped up at 5pm-thank goodness I bill hourly- and I packed up my stuff and walked as quickly and gently as possible out of the building, with my escort of course, to my car. At this point I could barely lift my arm and stick it out the window to hand the garage attendant my parking sticker. All I could think of when I got to my car was getting on the pump to stop the pain.

Enter problem two of the day. My car was parked in the middle of a government lot at 5pm on a Friday-people that I work for and with were passing my car on the way to their cars so that they could head home for the weekend-without proper cover I didn't want to whip my boobs out like it was Mardis Gras for all of them to see. I decided to just get home to my baby ASAP.

Enter phase three of breast hell. It's Friday the 13th at 5pm and everyone is trying to head home so the traffic SUCKS. At this point I am basically crying my boobs are so full of milk. I begin massaging my breasts to try to relieve some of the pressure, but that does nothing for me, but intrigues many people in nearby cars. I have spent half an hour going 2 miles-I cannot take it anymore.

I hook up the pump to the battery pack and stick it under my now drenched shirt and I begin to pump one handed while driving. Probably highly illegal and yes very dangerous, but I did what I had to do. I am pretty sure if a cop saw me and pulled me over I would have gotten a ticket or arrested, but at that point I didn't care about such things-saving my boobs was my only concern.

Ten minutes on each side and my boobs are back to normal and I am able to field my husband's calls from home: "What are these bumps on Bruno's butt, Where is the baby's extra milk, What's for dinner?"

While I don't recommend EVER putting your boobs in this type of situation, I do hope you at least chuckle knowing that it happened to my boobs and not yours.

Recommendation Wednesdays

The talk among many of my mom friends has recently been about kids and meals. Currently the hot topic is, how do you entertain your toddler or kids while you are trying to prep the adult meal for the evening?

This is a great question. It is really easy to "cook" dinner for the kids since it only takes about 5-10 minutes to make most of their food and pretty much everything can go into the microwave for a quick zapping.

How do you entertain little ones while you are trying to slice and dice up some adult food without tripping over them and making yourself crazy-well here are my suggestions:

1. If your kids have a designated nap time or are at school or daycare at a certain time each day, carve out a half hour or so to do as much dinner prep work as possible. Marinate meat or chop veggies and store them in Ziploc bags until dinner. You can even wash Romaine lettuce leaves and loosely wrap them in paper towels and store them in the lower veggie drawer of your refrigerator for 3-4 hours without them wilting or getting nasty.

2. Obviously option 1 is the way to go, but life is not always that neat, so if your kids are home and underfoot while you are prepping dinner try designating that half an hour that you need to prep as a special time for your kids. For example, tell them it is story time and let them sit on the couch at look at books of their choosing. Another suggestion is to tell them it is art time or craft time and let them color (make a welcome home card for Daddy or create a book of pictures and put 20 sheets in one book and let them fill up one page each night) or use play dough at the table while you work on dinner. If this is a nightly ritual that they get to look forward to, kids will learn to view that half hour of art or story time as a special time all their own.

3. Get a large basket or bin and fill it with special toys. Only allow your children to take that bin out for half an hour each night while you are making dinner. Again, this will give the kids something to look forward to and it will make that half hour seem really special for them instead of a time when "mommy is busy."

4. Get the kids involved. If they are old enough to help, put them to work. You will be teaching them valuable skills that are useful in the future as well as building their confidence about their capabilities. If they are too young to peel or chop for you, you can still get them involved by playing store or restaurant-bring in a play cash register or shopping cart for them to use as props and cultivate their imaginations.

Hope that these help ladies. Good luck and pass these along to friends and family.

Recommendation Wednesdays

I have been feeling the stress of two kids recently, which in turn has been making my toddler ramp up his temper tantrums, so after over-thinking things for days, I finally took some steps to de-stress my life and now I am going to share them with you.



1) I downloaded the Metallica Lullabys CD onto my son's ipod. It is Metallica songs, sans the words, and just nothing but soothing music-he listens to it every night as he is going to sleep and boy does he love it. It has started to grow on me as well, but in a good way-it definitely is great background music to sooth your senses.


2) I have been recording the Yoga For Life series off of the Veria Channel. It is an hour long intense yoga session with yoga master Kurt Johnsen. I do it during the day at home when the baby naps and it makes me feel calm and strong. The best part is that you don't have to drag the kids to the gym and put them in the germ filled daycare and you can do the workout at any hour of the day.


When you feel a little too stressed, try out ones of these de-stress tactics of mine and just breathe.

Groundhog Day

Happy Groundhog day to all-well, it is official- Phil, the famous groundhog, saw his shadow today so that means that we should plan for 6 more weeks of winter-UGH!

If you are feeling the winter blues, think about cleaning out your closets and purging your home of unnecessary stuff. A clean fresh house is just what you need to feel less stagnant during these cold winter months.

Another great way to perk up your home and environment is to think about repainting one or two of the rooms in your home. Not only is this a very cheap way to spruce things up, but the colors on your walls can affect your mood-who knew? So, don't wait until Spring to do some cleaning and sprucing-start now-here's how.

If you are thinking of refreshing your home and outlook with some fresh paint, check out what these colors can affect.

Red-This increases energy and creates excitement

Orange-This can be comforting and cheerful

Yellow-This has been known to increase positive thoughts

Green-This color is calming and can promote rest

Blue-This color can cool a room and even lower your blood pressure

Purple-This color can stimulate a person's creativity an imagination

Great food for thought! Happy Painting.