Blips in the Road

Why is it that when you finally feel like you have a handle on things and that everything is smooth sailing you hit a bump in the road? That was my Monday and the reason I am late posting my blog, but even with the bad comes good and even though the grey clouds roll in, there is a silver lining. It took me three hours at a doctor's visit to find the silver in this grey cloud, but I got some good advice from another mom that I would like to pay forward. I hope you too find this story inspiring.

I woke up feeling energized this past Monday after having gone to bed the night before at 8:30pm-I mean I was actually asleep by 8:30pm, not reading and not watching TV in bed, but full on bedded bliss. I started my day the usual way-make coffee, feed dog, empty dishwasher, make Bruno's breakfast, return phone calls, check daily "to-do" list, throw in some laundry, take out trash etc. - and even got the privilege of taking a shower in the morning (bonus for Mommy) ,which I do not usually get to do, because I was headed out to the OB for my 6 month check up.

Since I was the second appointment of the day the doctor was on time and I got to leisurely read a Fit Pregnancy Magazine ( bonus number 2 for Mommy) while I waited to be seen. All was well on the baby front. Blood pressure was good, weight gain was appropriate and not in the excessive realm and I was already thinking about all the errands and chores I was going to complete after I left the doctor's office because I had the babysitter until noon.

When the doctor came in and went through all the usual questions i didn't pause until we got to the one about "Are you experiencing any pain, vomiting, bleeding etc. etc? " I told my doctor that over the weekend I had experienced some cramping but that it always went away and was not constant.

As a precaution I was placed on the monitor anyways. At this point I was pretty much convinced that it was something silly like bad gas or indigestion, but I was happy to be strapped into the blue and pink baby belts all the same. I knew that I would feel better in fifteen minutes when the doctor told me everything was a-okay and that I should feel fine again after a large bowel movement. I kicked the recliner out and put my feet up and continued to enjoy my magazine while thinking that this minor delay at the doctor's office would still give me plenty of time to complete my chores if I left in the next half hour.

After fifteen minutes of listening to the thumping heartbeat of my baby girl the doctor came in to read the paper that the machine had spit out and I was shocked when I saw her facial expression. She pointed to the sharp peaks on the paper and said that sure enough I was having contractions at 24 weeks!

As my stomach dropped I felt a look of worry take over my face-my husband always says that I furrow my brow when I am intensely worried and I always denied it, but his time I did not fight the furrowed brow. I was instantly worried. They say your life can change in a minute and this was one of those examples. My regularly scheduled 6 month checkup at the OB was not normal-there was something happening that shouldn't be and I was freaked out.

My doctor obviously saw the alarm in my face and went into calm the patient mode. She told me about the injection I would be given that would make my heart race and flutter while relaxing my uterus so that I didn't experience any more "blips" was the word she used. They were going to keep me on the monitor for another twenty minutes or so to see how I handled the medicine. Before I had time to digest the information or ask my doctor the hundred or so questions that had formed in my head in the last 30 seconds, the nurse appeared with a needle and said, "this will sting a bit, so hold on."

The injection was put in my arm and made me feel like I had consumed 40 cups of coffee on an empty stomach. My hands were shaking and I was all jittery, there was no more indulgent reading of a magazine, only racing, frantic thoughts of terror about what was wrong with my baby. Was it the decaf Mochas I had the past few mornings as my chocolate fix? Was I not resting enough? Was my nutrition poor? How could I have let this happen to my little girl, was all I could think about for the twenty minutes I was hooked to the monitor like a dog to a tether post.

Fortunately, I responded well to the medicine and the "blips" stopped about 20 minutes after the shot-Good. I still felt like a horrible parent, though. How was I going to be good Mommy to a baby girl, my second child, if I couldn't manage the pregnancy without these kinds of "blips" in the road?

From there I was given a full work up. Exam, Ultra sound etc. to ensure that the baby was okay and that everything was still in tact in all the right places and that nothing had shifted. Good on that front as well. My nerves were shot at this point and I was filled with dread playing the "what if...." game with myself in my mind. So the contractions had stopped, but why was I having them at 24 weeks?

I didn't start to feel better about this "blip" in the road until I went into my doctor's office for the post-visit chat. When I sat down in her office, I felt like I was back in middle school and being sent to the principle's office for throwing food in the lunch room; at this point I had convinced myself that I was to blame for my thumping uterus. I was sure that it was because I was over stressed, or working too much, or trying to do too many things that this had happened.

She summarized by saying that everything looked good with the baby and that while I had to "tone things down a bit for the next few weeks," she was not overly concerned that these "blips" would be a long term problem for me. I began to feel slightly better about the situation-okay, I wasn't a failure as a mother and it wasn't my fault that my uterus was contracting at 24 weeks, these things just happened sometimes, but I still wanted to clarify that there wasn't something I was doing or eating or not doing or not eating that was causing this problem. She then asked me a series of questions as she was making notes in my chart and there was one that sealed the deal for me. My doctor asked if I worked, I paused and after I finally said "sometimes," she said, " its okay to work, you know."

In that instant I felt like she said more to me that was of value than she had said in the past two years that I had known her. She was not only telling me that it was okay to be a SAHM that works sometimes, but she was reassuring me that babies have a mind of their own -especially when in utero- and that this "blip" was not from my doing, but rather from the baby's doing and my body's doing. I was not expected to control these things, how could I? "Blips" happen, its the natural course of lthings and inevitable in everyone's lives.

After my three hour visit to the OB, I was tired and drained, but I felt inspired at the same time. Another mom had reassured me that we all hit "blips" in the road and that what makes us good parents is how we choose to deal with those "blips" and keep on going.

Yeah a three hour tour of my privates at the OB was not what I had hoped my routine 6 month visit would entail, but the important thing was that it was over and that the "blip" had been dealt with-the baby was okay ( full of personality already, she can't wait to get here), I was okay (maybe a little mentally battered, but no worse for the wear) and I got a friendly little reminder that life is not all smooth sailing all the time. There will be "blips" in the road for all of us to deal with and if we just remind ourselves that "blips" are part of life that come and go, we will enjoy the ride so much more.