Vacation Rules to Live By

My husband and I were in desperate need of a vacation-we were beyond the winter blues. He was overworked and stressed and I was sleep deprived and stuck inside with two small kiddies after the winter birth of our second child.

After talking and talking about it, we decided two things. First, that there seemed to be no good time to take a vacation-we had work and we didn't want to take our son out of school etc. etc., blah, blah, blah, the list goes on and on. Second, that we couldn't afford to NOT take a vacation-we were both on the brink of a meltdown and some R&R was not only well deserved, but pretty much necessary to break our winter blues and get us out of our work, caffeniate, care for babies routine.

Work was the big sticking point for my husband, but for me, it was the thought of driving from Virginia to Florida in the car with two kids under two and the family bulldog. For the three weeks prior to our vacation, I was secretly wishing that "something" would come up at work that would force us to stay home in the safety of our rut, but there was no earth shattering real estate catstrophe that warranted us canceling our vacation. The only thing that came close to detering us was the fact that I got so sick (flu and sinus infection, plus two ear infections-ALL at the same time) the week before we left that I thought that I wouldn't even be able to make it down to Florida for the vacation.

Ultimately, I survived-YEAH and was able to make the much dreaded car trip to Florida to the much needed vacation that I deserved and longed for in my spare time. I think getting sick right before my vacation actually changed my outlook on vacations in general, not to mention the fact that it postively affected my mood. Being SO sick-to the point where I laid in bed for the first 72 hours unable to move-literally, made me realize that I was in a rut and that my fear about traveling to my vacation destination was only a side effect of said winter rut. I knew that I wanted to be in Florida and I knew that I needed to be in Florida, but yet it was still so hard to just do it-it was easier to be complacent and push the vacation off-getting there was the hard part.

Regardless of the roadblocks that almost deterred our vaction, we made it here safe and sound and I was so happy that the trip down here had gone so much more smoothly than anticipated that I kept that attitude of gratitude from the begininng of my vacation and really embraced my vaction this time. Usually it takes me at least 4 or 5 days to unwind and by then it is almost time to go home-where is the time for enjoyment? Well this attitude of gratitude made me embrace the vacation enjoyment from the get-go and we have only been here for 6 days and already I feel like we have been here for weeks.

Here are my personal recommendations, a personal vacation mantra, if you will, for ways to really enjoy your vaction from the start by adopting an attitude of gratitude:

1. Let your kids throw caution to the wind and disregard their schedules as long as it is for something good like staying up past their bedtime to get ice cream or not getting dressed until the afternoon so that they can play outside in their PJ's. I let my son play outside every morning in his PJ's because he just can't wait to get his day started; he doesn't want to be slowed down by something as useless as changing his clothes. Who could blame him? He is just going to get his clean clothes instantly dirty, why not wear the dirty PJ'S and get them more dirty? Makes sense and is ultimately pretty practical if you think about it. I love how two year-olds think, it is so pure.

2. Exercise outside. Jog outside and enjoy the smell of different air or exercise outside of the box and try a new class like hot yoga, or skip exercise altogether. Just break up the routine of what you do at home. My body was used to running the hills in our neighborhood at home, so I took my jog to the beach. Not only did my body ache in places that I forgot that I had, but I got some sun and fresh air in the process-YEAH FOR MOMMY (YFM!)

3. Visit the attractions that the locals recommend, not the tourist attractions that are local to the area. Where do locals eat? Go there and order the chef's special or the daily special-you will be guaranteed a great meal. Be happy that you didn't have to shop for the food, prepare it or clean it up. I ate a Grouper Reuben (I know, it sounds pretty scary) the other day at Captain Al's seaside dinning and it was so delicious.

4. Disengage from your electronic devices. I know this a hard one for many people, but it is so worth it. I didn't check my email for the first few days of vacation and I felt totally liberated. If it is really that urgent people will call you, twice if necessary, but not being constantly attached to your phone or email really gives you time to think. You are not on work auto-pilot which is a good thing.

5. Do one thing that scares you, even if it is small and stupid. This will remind you of your capabilities and will give you a sense of adventure and freshness-you may surprise yourself or learn something new. For me on this vacation, this meant taking a boat ride. I hate boats and fear them because they make me puke all the time. Well, I tried it and for the first time ever I got on a boat, rode around for an hour, didn't puke and had fun-shit, maybe I outgrew my motion sickness after 31 years. The point is, I found enjoyment in something that used to always cause me pain.

6. Be thankful. Being here has made me realize how much Mommies have to do at home when they have little ones. When we are here, my mother-in-law gets up every morning and makes the coffee (not the way I do it, she doesn't measure anything, she just throws in some water and some coffee grinds. Some days it's stronger than others or weak and thin, but it's one less thing I have to do in the morning and it is ready when I am struggling to wake up. Again, YFM!). She also feeds the dog twice a day. Having extra adult hands on deck makes my life easier and more enjoyable because I am not frantically rushing to do everything for everyone else. I can actually go and take a shit without having two kids in the bathroom with me-AMAZING!

7. Stop multi-tasking. I realize now that part of the reason I failed to relax on past vacations is because I was still functioning in "at-home-mom-machine-work mode" which entails constant multi-tasking. On this vacation I have been really good about doing one thing at a time and ONLY one thing at a time. Playing at the beach with my kids, making the salad for dinner etc. These may sound like stupid mundane tasks, but at home I do these two tasks while breast feeding, folding laundry, exercising and doing our taxes. By taking time to consciously not multi-task I have found a lot more enjoyment in each individual task. Just because you can multi-task (come on, what woman can't and doesn't???) does not mean that you should.

8. Mix things up a little. If you never stop for lunch at home because you are too busy stuffing a granola bar into your mouth in the carpool lane, then take a day to eat lunch somewhere scenic and beautiful. Sit down and taste your food-eat because you enjoy food, not because you need it to survive through your next meeting. My husband and I went to a local part of town the other day and had a nice long lunch. I even went crazy and had a drink at lunch. We sat outside and watched the boats come in by the pier, at least I think they were boats, I was pretty buzzed off of my one drink (it was big and involved rum), but again, the point is I was enjoying myself and really relaxing. I felt like I was doing something I shouldn't, like I would be called into the Principal's office for leaving class without my hall pass. My husband and I had some nice alone time and we broke the mold of our daily grind.

9. If you are near a hot tub, heated pool or an ocean, go for a dip. There is definitely something healing and purifying and cleansing about water. I will not wax about the various religious, health or spiritual properties of swimming in the ocean, but I can attest to the fact that sitting in a hot tub after a long day in the Florida sun not only soothes your muscles, but it somehow releases the tension in your mind.

10. Put your toes in the sand. At Bruno's preschool they do a lot with the little kids and objects that have different textures and feels to them so that the kiddies can develop their senses. Walking barefoot in the sand is a big person exercise in sensory motor comprehension-again, there is something so simple and pleasurable about the feel of sand between your toes and beneath your feet that you forget your troubles.

These items are the ways I kept an attitude of gratitude the whole vacation and got more than I bargained for this time around. Who says you can't teach an old mommy new tricks?

Enjoy and pass it along. Or better yet, develop your own vacation mantra so that you too can enjoy your vacation from day one.