TGIF

One of my moms groups recently sent out an email asking for suggestions for indoor winter activities that don't require a ton of planning and that can be done with one child at a time so that kids are getting valuable one-on-one time with mommy or daddy-I have listed my favorites below.

Check them out and break up those winter blues. Maybe you will learn something new.

Stay warm and hang in there mommies, Spring is almost here and just remember that February is the shortest month.

1) My parents used to take my siblings and I out for a special birthday dinner each year-it gave the birthday kid something to look forward to and it and it gave him or her some one-on-one time with the parents which is also really important. Plus, it taught us to behave in nicer restaurants.

2) Give each one of your kids a jar for their dresser. Give them coins on a daily basis for doing nice deeds, behaving well, cleaning their room etc. Once the jar is full of coins the kid gets to count out their money and decide how to spend it-maybe a trip to the toy store for a certain item or an ice cream cone will do it. Maybe the child wants to see a movie or go to a store to paint his/her own pottery. This technique encourages good behavior and gives the kids something to work towards, but it also teaches them the value of money. If you are opposed to using money to fill the jars, use some other counter like marbles and assign a value to each colored counter-red is twenty points, blue is ten etc. Once the child hits a specific point value they get a reward, like a special dessert or extra television time etc.

3) Other fun one-on-one activities to do with kids in the DC area are: ice skating in DC or at the Ballston rink, painting pottery at Made by You in Arlington, cooking classes at Williams Sonoma or Sur La Table (Check locations for times and trial classes), a trip to Kid Town in Rockville, a trip to Sport Bounce, the play space at the Springfield Mall (this one costs money, but is much better than the one at Tysons), a kid play or puppet show at Adventure Theater at Glen Echo Park, a trip to the airport or union station, or an activity at one of the downtown museums-check the Hirshorn Gallery's listing-they have activities like puppet shows and crafts for kids as young as 18 months old.

4) Designate Fridays or another night as movie night and let one kid pick out the menu for dinner and the movie to be viewed. Take that child with you to the supermarket and the video store. Depending on their age and capabilities/interests, you might even let the child help prepare the meal with you for some valuable cooking lessons and special mommy time.

5) Check out one of my favorite websites of all times-www.gocitykids.com-and sign up for their newsletter to come into your email account each week. It gives you tons of ideas for activities and it breaks it down by type and age group.

Good luck and have fun-Enjoy your children-they grow up so fast.

National Mentor Month and Mommy Meltdowns

So while watching some crappy mindless television last night I learned that it is national mentor month-who knew there was such thing, but the timing was very appropriate since I had planned on today's blog being about finding a motivator, or mentor; someone you can look up to that reminds you of your own capabilities and makes you appreciate your own accomplishments and gives you the strength you need to make it through another day. Someone you can think of when the going gets tough so that you can get through your tough time.

I had a really bad day last week. The baby's Zantac hadn't kicked in yet and she was still a screaming gas ball of fury. It was a Thursday and I had planned to drop my son at preschool and then head to the gym with the baby in tow so that she could nap in her infant carrier while mommy pounded away on the treadmill that goes nowhere in an attempt to send my last few baby weight pounds packing.

The morning started off okay. Brooke was happy and well behaved and Bruno was being good and listening and following directions well- as well as a 20 month old can. Brooke even ate and was changed and fell asleep in the car on the way to preschool-YEAH. I probably jinxed things because I started thinking how great this day was going to be.

When I pulled up at school, which is always a bit of a logistical nightmare, (getting both kids out of the car and safely through the parking lot to the door can seem as daunting and challenging as running through the Sahara Desert in high heels and it usually forces me to break a sweat in the dead cold of winter) the sleeping baby woke up and began screaming. Horrible timing, as usual with babies.

Well.....what choice did I have? I had to walk Bruno into his classroom so I got out the snap and go stroller as quickly as possible and snapped her infant carrier in. Then I wheeled the stroller around to the other side of the car where I shoved Bruno's school bag into the bottom of the stroller before releasing him from his car seat and placing him on my hip. Loaded down like a pack mule, I scurried through the parking lot carrying my thirty pound toddler on my hip and steering the stroller with one hand (why was I stressing about going to the gym?). My legs began to burn from the strain and I could feel sweat dripping down between my breasts. Half way through the parking lot a huge gust of wind came and blew Brooke's blanket off from her carrier canopy and the sun and wind stung her face, making her scream even louder than before-so basically at this point she is completely Richter and screaming like I cut her arm off.

Once inside we had to wait in line to get into his classroom (you can't drop your kid off until the teacher unlocks the door). My arms feel heavy and are burning from my trip through the parking lot, and at this point in time I get that itchy feeling at the base of my neck that happens when I am stressed and my neck hair prickles up and stands on end because Brooke is so upset and screaming so loudly. Even though Brooke has only been screaming for five minutes or less it feels like an eternity because those five minutes are intense and I hate hearing babies-any babies-cry. So I put Bruno down and begin to take his hat and coat off so that when they do open the classroom doors he can just walk right in. Bruno thinks we are playing "the chase game," so he takes off down the hallway, forcing me to leave his yelping sister in stroller like some wounded animal on the side of the highway. I run Bruno down and get him situated back in line and ignore the judgemental eyes of the other parents in the hallway as they pass by Brooke's stroller making comments like: "oh, poor baby, what's wrong?" or my personal favorite "maybe she is cold, tired, maybe the light's in her eyes etc. (substitute whatever phrase or word you want, but it all boils down to other parents who don't know me or my baby telling me how to do my job, which is not acceptable in my mommy world.) Finally the doors open and for once I am happy that my kid wants to cut the line to get into the classroom first and for once, I let him.

As I make my way to the door to journey back through the parking lot to the car, I can feel myself teetering on the edge of sanity-the screaming won't stop and it is cold. I suddenly feel over tired and like I am being slowly pecked to death by a duck or other small animal-it is not painful, but just annoying and stressful enough to grind me down.

I get to the car and turn it on to get the heat going. By now I am starting to tear up myself-misery loves company, right? I sit in the backseat and try to nurse Brooke. She is so riled up from all the crying it is near impossible to get her to calm down and get on the boob. I try, then I try again, then I keep trying-crying to myself the whole time. I finally break down and call my husband for help. I assure him that I am okay and that the baby is okay but that I am just having a tough time of things right now. He is wonderful, as always, and gives me the exact pep talk that I need. "Honey you are doing a great job, I know it is hard to breast feed and the baby is just growing so much these days that it seems like all she does is eat, but just put her back on the boob and you'll both feel better soon. I am able to calm Brooke down, calm myself down and get her on the boob.

After a 30 minute nursing session in the backseat of my car, I am able to get her back in her car seat. She falls asleep almost instantly so I drive directly to the gym and deposit her in the day care. I find the nearest treadmill and jump on. I spend the next hour running out my stress while listening to Megadeath blaring in my headphones.

When I recount this story the next day to my close friend who has three of her own and is already pregnant with her fourth, she assures me that she definitely has had many of those baby blue days before and that she remembers how hard it is for the first 12 weeks with a new baby ( I believe her exact words are that newborns suck because they eat and cry constantly). She then lets me in on a little secret. She tells me that when she would have rough mornings or nights or whatever with one of her newborns she would think of her sister who had three kids in five years while going to medical school. "If my sister could have three little ones and become a doctor at the same time then I would get through the first 12 weeks of having a newborn with my wits still intact. If she can do it so can I."

This is a valuable lesson ladies. There will come a time when you are a mommy and you feel yourself melting down. Don't be too alarmed- this is perfectly normal and almost expected, sort of like a rite of passage. Well, to weather these storms you need two weapons in your arsenal.

1) You need to have a life line (husband, sister, mother, aunt, friend etc.) on speed dial that you can call when you need someone to talk you down.

2) You need to have a mentor or motivator. Someone that you admire for whatever reason that inspires you to work hard and do great things. Form a clear picture of this person in your mind and when you feel the mommy meltdown coming on, think of the amazing things that this person has done and accomplished and assure yourself that you too are capable of great things, because you are.

I realize that motherhood is messy and that it never goes as planned, but there are some days when this is a hard pill to swallow because it makes me feel like a failure or like I am a bad mommy, but that is when I think of some of my other mommy friends and their situations and my own motherhood experiences don't seem as bad and I gather the strength I need to forge ahead through another day in the mommy hood.

So....in honor of national mentor month, stop and take a moment for yourselves mommies. Think of someone that motivates you and remember that while you look up to others for motivation, others look up to you for motivation. So, find your own mentor and know that you are someone else's mentor, even if they don't tell you.

Don't Kick A Gift Husband-er, Horse in the Mouth

I love that my husband senses the recent spike in my stress level caused by sleep deprivation (our daughter is only 8 weeks old and I only took 3 weeks maternity leave-YEAH, WHAT THE $@*^ WAS I THINKING?) and fatigue (our son is 21 months old) and flat out irritability ( I just had my second baby and feel fat, not to mention the fact that my dog has the worst gas ever and an even worse penchant for puking on my floor-bitch).

He is careful to be upbeat and pay extra attention to me while doing things around the house without having to be asked. Now anytime a husband picks up the slack around the house (or at least in my house) it is for one of two reasons-he wants something from you (can I go away with the guys for a week and leave you home to work and care for the kids and puking dog???) or he fears you (will my wife actually crack and send the dog to live on a farm???) and what you might do. Either way, I was taught to always be grateful when people help you out, especially if they do it of their own free will.

Let me now share with you the two wonderful things that my husband has recently done to "help" me out around the house. I always make the coffee in the morning. Maybe it is because I am more obsessed with drinking the coffee than my husband or maybe because the kitchen and food in general is my domain, or maybe it is because my husband makes terrible coffee because he doesn't use a measuring cup or spoon of any kind, he just dumps in some water and some grounds-ONLY A MAN WOULD DO THAT, or maybe it is because when I rarely sleep in he can only deal with the kids not the coffee, dishes, feeding of the dog etc. Regardless, my husband decided to make the coffee one day because he got up earlier than me and the kids-his heart was in the right place, but things didn't go as planned.

You see I had gotten on a time saving kick in an effort to make my mornings less hectic and stressful, so even though we don't have a timer on the coffee pot, I had started loading the water and grinds into the pot the night before so that all I had to do was push the button in the morning. I even thought to myself that I should remind Aras of my plans both verbally, which I did, and in writing-I put a large note in front of the pot that read: LOADED-JUST TURN ON in an effort to keep him updated and to prevent possible disaster.

Following his heart of good intentions and trying to be a sweet, good husband, Aras forgot to read and completely missed the note stuck to the coffee pot. As a result the coffee pot basically exploded all over the counter since it had been LOADED TWICE. Not only did this make a huge mess (Aras cleaned it up before I got to it) but Aras bastardized my good pot of coffee with his crappy pot of coffee. From now on I think it is best for me to ask for Aras' help when and if I need it so that at the very least I can specify what I want done.

The second incident also involved my beloved husband and my beloved kitchen. I noticed that the dishes were really spotty and dirty and I was beginning to worry that our dishwasher was on its last legs. I was pulling cereal bowls out of the cabinet in the morning that still had two day old mac and cheese residue on them-yuck. So I pre-rinsed more and scrubbed dishes a little harder for a week or so with no better results. I added jet dry and changed our dish detergent, cursing myself for straying from my brand and buying the cheap stuff just because it was on sale.

The other day I walked into the kitchen as Aras was unloading the dishwasher and lo and behold I solved the dirty dishes mystery and it was not the dishwasher that was defective, but my husband. Aras had been putting the individually wrapped Cascade tablets into the dishwasher every night, but he was not removing the tablets from their plastic wrapper-HELLO?

When I asked him about it, he looked at me with surprise-Oh, you have to take the plastic off those things? They don't just dissolve on their own in the dishwasher?

I turned on my heels without responding and started to leave the kitchen, but first I checked the coffee pot to make sure that it was intact, opened the cabinet, took out a dirty mug and poured myself some coffee.

Manic Mondays

All in all, today was a good Monday. It was hectic, as usual, but I expect that my life will be that way until my children are grown and out of the house and I have stopped breeding. There were no horrible incidents today involving poop or vomiting dogs and the baby's reflux is SO much better thanks to a drug called Zantac. With all my free time I have actually been able to do some research about my kiddies and one of my favorite things of all time-FOOD.

I am very lucky in that my toddler's favorite foods are fruits and veggies of all kinds, but my sister and many other friends of mine fight a daily battle when trying to get their children to deviate from the four foods groups of toddlers-pretzels, McDonald's Chicken nuggets, buttered noodles, and fruit snacks. Another complaint I hear from moms with multiple children is that they make a different dinner each night for each kid and then a completely different one for the adults. I am not in this situation-and vow to never get there, but I realize that is easier said than done- yet since my daughter is still just breast feeding, but I can only imagine how much this SUCKS. In my house, the toddler gets his meal and the dog gets the leftovers and the adults get an adult meal. PERIOD-end of story. I love to cook, but at the end of the day I only have so much left in me and being a short order cook is not on my list of capabilities.

Whether your food crisis is caused by a picky eater or having too many different eaters to feed, I have just the solution for you. Check out Chef Lisa Barnes' website www.petitappetit.com. She also has a cookbook that goes by the same name.

This mother and Chef has created recipes that are kid tested (meaning, kids will actually eat these items), healthy, and organic. Plus, her recipes are SUPER EASY (easy enough for your 6+ years old to help you make the food items-like the homemade granola bars) and most recipes don't require a lot of ingredients. Her recipes also include informative information about the nutritional value of her dishes as well as helpful hints for shopping, picking produce and assuring that your child is eating the proper foods and amounts for his age.

Her tricks for incorporating protein into many of her recipes-like yogurt in pancakes- or sneaking veggies into cream cheese-will win over even the toughest of toddlers. Lastly, many of her dishes can be made and served to the whole family (Greek frittata or fish tacos) so you will save time and your mind (less stress for mommies at the end of the day is always ideal) at dinnertime since you won't be forced to make 5 different dinners for 5 different people.

Take the stress out of the end of your day by draining a glass of wine while surfing her website for some recipe ideas. You will be pleasantly surprised how great her recipes are and how many of them you can make with the food you already have in your pantry, thus saving you a trip to the grocery store.

TGIF

Oh my sweet blog, how I have missed you. I have longed to sit in front of my computer and vent (aka write) about my recent mommy meltdowns, but there has been no time these days. The baby has reflux so we are anxiously waiting for her zantac meds to kick in so that the screaming will stop and my toddler has a cold that has been hanging on for about three weeks now. It's not enough to give him a fever or keep him home from school, but it is enough to make him a fussy eater and subject to toxic nuclear meltdowns because he is cranky. To top off this wonderful situation the dog has been feeling neglected again so she has been making herself vomit in order to get attention-FABULOUS!

In a most recent episode of "my crazy life with two under two," I had a fun filled night yesterday that involved the baby screaming from her reflux -she had to be put down momentarily so that I could assist Bruno in the tub with his nightly bath, during which he took a big SHIT in the tub-AWESOME. While tending to my screaming and pooping kiddies, the dog felt under appreciated and vomited bile all over my dining room rug for the finale.

So on that note, I want to share my TGIF with you. When you experience nights like I did yesterday-and believe me, you will, because we all do- be happy that you know of places like Trader Joe's. This unique grocery store, as their mantra claims, does offer some great food options that you cannot find at a conventional grocery store like the Safeway or Giant. Trader Joe's has a lot of pre-packaged dinners and food items in the back cooler that are a lot more interesting than roasted chicken and their frozen items are excellent as well. Another great thing about Trader Joe's is that their organic products, like meats and even name brand items, like Kashi cereals, are cheaper than they are at supermarkets and Whole Foods.

Items To Try:

1. Trader Joe's Frozen Mac n' Cheese-This is a great late night dinner for your husband or something filling to feed the kiddies when you don't feel like cooking separate meals for each kid.

2. Apple Crushers-this is applesauce that is squeezed out of a packet. It requires no spoon and is mess free. Plus my kid loves the carrot flavored one and it is great for school lunches, not to mention much cheaper than the version they sell at Whole Foods.

3. Nuts by the Handful-These individual packets contain a 200-calorie snack of almonds or some kind of nut and dried fruit. I keep packets of these in the car, in my office and in my purse.

4. Lentils-These are the kind that are ready to heat and serve and can be found in the produce section. An awesome source of fiber and protein, my toddler even eats these. Definitely worth a try.

5. Grapefruit Sea Salt Scrub-This is a nice at home indulgence for over-worked mommies who don't have time to go to the spa (ha, ha, ha, isn't that ALL mommies everywhere?). The oil in this scrub leaves your dry winter skin soft for days on end. It is worth the $5.

Gasey is classy

After my daughter's ten day stint in the NICU (which sucked by the way) I learned two extremely valuable lessons that I would like to share with you:

1. There is such a thing as too much information, especially when your child is in the NICU. I thought that information was power, and it can be in a lot of cases, but when your baby is in the NICU and the doctors are working to figure out what the problem is, it is best to just take things day by day. Because I am a planner and totally type-A, I wanted to know what the long term plan was and that often forced people, like doctors and nurses to surmise about things pertaining to my daughter, which often had the negative effect of completely freaking me out. The medical staff felt obligated to tell me something since I was so pushy and demanding about knowing the big picture and that often meant they read into situations and offered their opinions about things that were the worst case scenario, instead of medically proven facts. So in short, if you ever have a child in the NICU, take it one day at a time. Wake up every day with the sole intention of learning what happened in your infant's life that day; don't worry about the next day or the next week, you will make yourself crazy and they will come soon enough.

2. While my daughter was in the NICU, a baby nurse told me that if you alternate between patting your child's back and rubbing it, it is easier to expel gas in the form of a burp or a fart. This makes the infant happier and it reduces gas build-up and spit-up.

I have tried this method of burping on my daughter and it DOES work so give it a try.

Poop there it is

There is nothing worse than walking into your child's nursery and discovering that he or she has taken off their diaper and proceeded to paint the nursery and their body with their own poop-GROSS.

Unfortunately, most parents learn this lesson the hard way. For example, my husband put our 15 month-old son in his crib one time in the summer with nothing on but a diaper and a t-shirt. (What woman would ever do that? I can't think of one, but that is another blog entirely) Now in my husband's defense, I get it, it was hot and he didn't want Bruno to sweat, but Bruno had no onesie on to keep him from accessing his diaper. As a result Bruno filled said diaper with massive amounts of poop then proceeded to take the diaper off, paint his face with his own crap (much like a child from the Lord of the Flies movie) and throw the remainder of the poop along the nursery walls. My husband's solution was the same that many men have-duck tape the diaper on. (Again, what woman would do that?)

Well, let me recommend something more civil and less expensive. Take one pair of PJ's that have feet and zip up the front and cut the feet off completely. When your child naps or goes to sleep at night, put the footless PJ's on backwards with the zipper up the back and your child will never fling poop in the crib again, because they can't reach the zipper or take their diaper off on their own.

Also, if your child is playing with his or her own poop and taking their diaper off, it is also a sign that he or she is ready to start potty training.

Best of luck and may your walls be poop-free with this helpful tip.